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Monthly Archives: Μαΐου 2014
A Whole Lot Of People Think They’ve Had Sex With Ghosts
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canada goose uk outlet But why listen to regular people about their spooky sexual encounters when you buy canada goose jacket cheap could ask celebrities? Everyone wants to bang a famous person even ghosts, apparently! Anna Nicole Smith, Kesha, Bobby Brown, and Lucy Liu all claimed to have had sexual encounters with ghosts. Brown’s story is probably the best, and he’s shared it a lot, including on Larry King’s show and 20/20, in one of the greatest interviews of all time. He describes it as such: canada goose uk outlet
canada goose uk black friday «I moved into this house. I bought this mansion in Georgia, so this was a really, really spooky place. But yeah, one time I woke up and yeah, a ghost. I was being mounted by a ghost.» canada goose uk black friday
He then specifies that he wasn’t high, which is something he’s obviously been asked before.
uk canada goose outlet Robin Roberts then caps the interview with «Wow, you’ve had quite a life.» This is something you say to someone who swam the English Channel, not someone who’s gotten rowdy with the ethereal undead. I have a million follow up questions for Bobby Brown, canada goose black friday sale the most canada goose pressing being «Did you ask this ghost if Heaven exists while you were humping it?» Look, I know that Canada Goose sale it might ruin the mood, but I wouldn’t know whether I’d get canada goose clearance a second chance at it. uk canada goose outlet
canada goose black friday sale Related: 6 Ghosts Who Solved Their Own MurdersThere Are Plenty Of Items You Can Purchase To Summon Your Own Sex Ghost canada goose black friday sale
buy canada goose http://www.canadagoosejacketoutlett.com jacket cheap If you’re not a celebrity whom ghosts are tripping over themselves to have sex with, you’ll probably have to summon your ghost fuckbuddy like a peasant. And this can get expensive. There’s a huge price gap between summoning a regular ghost and summoning a ghost to have sex with. If you want to summon a ghost just to throw rocks through it and laugh at it or whatever, it will cost you as little as $2.99 on Amazon (for the Kindle edition of Ghosts And Their Summoning). buy canada goose jacket cheap
canada goose store To be fair, one of the one star reviews headlined canada goose store «Caveat emptor, canada goose coats on sale Magus emptor! Buyer Wizard beware!!» asserts that the book works too well. In a long diatribe that gives shout outs to both God and Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 6, the reviewer writes that although the spell worked for him and he did lose his virginity to a ghost, he also ended up homeless and friendless, having to leave the city where the ritual was performed. That’s probably a risk you run when the one night stand you ghosted has the ability to ghost Canada Goose online your ass for eternity. canada goose store
A three star review of the same book offers a similar warning: «This is well written and well put together. I will not fault it at all in those aspects. However, you will become obsessed/possessed/addicted.»
Again, this is a three star review that says «Oh yeah, it works, but you’ll get addicted and it will probably kill you. Lovecraft monsters is hot, buy canada goose jacket but nowhere near as hot as the market for nailing some sweet poltergeist ass.
Related: 7 Famous People Whose Lives Sound Like An X Files EpisodeThere’s More Paperwork Involved In Ghost Sex Than You Would Think
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I was excited to see that summoning a succubus just to be friends with was an option, because I’m canada goose coats always looking for strong female friends. In the next section, I got to pick what characteristics are important to me in a spiritual lover. I chose funny, intelligent, and friendly, leaving off choices like aggressive, dominant, and powerful, because I don’t want to be murdered by my sex ghost. The next section was a little confusing, as it asks «How long do I think it will take you to create first contact?»
cheap Canada Goose Hours in canada goose outlet a week? Wow, summoning a sexual ghost sounds like a commitment. I was just looking for a little fun, and now this survey is talking about long term relationships and hours per week. I’m starting to feel a lot of pressure here. Maybe it would be easier to just purchase a Canada Goose Parka spirit that has been pre summoned for me. cheap Canada Goose
canada canada goose deals goose coats on sale Related: That Time The Supreme Court Believed In GhostsYou Can Buy A Sex Ghost On eBay canada goose coats on sale
Canada Goose Parka If, like me, you find the summoning ritual to be a bit overwhelming, but unlike me you have money, you can head on over to eBay and nab a pre summoned sex ghost for $150. Just type in «succubus summon» and wade through a sea of Yu Gi Oh! cards until you eventually find it. eBay’s variety of sex ghost listings even sometimes lists the ghost’s turn ons. For instance, the Hecate Moondrake Vampire Succucbus likes «green candles, mugwort, anise, and similar herbal offerings» to «ignite her fireworks.» Canada Goose Parka
canada goose factory sale The truly amazing thing about the succubi sold on eBay is how positive their sellers” ratings are. The seller of the Hecate Moondrake Vampire Succubus and the Inseparable Succubus Twins has 100 percent positive feedback from 951 ratings. Glowing reviews include «This little lady has kept me very busy, she likes me just fine!!!!! smiles,» «Repeat customer v v highly recommended top seller more like this ebay pls AAA+,» and «Amazing!!!! Heard his hooves right after I cut the tie!!! Loves to tell jokes.» That last review is from a buyer who purchased something called a «pendent of a sensual male faun.» canada goose factory sale
Canada Goose Online All I can think looking through the eBay reviews for this man who exclusively sells ghosts is this: How did every single buyer get exactly what they wanted from this product? The reviews aren’t even mixed, they’re all like «WOW my dick is just gone from all of this succubus sex. Will buy many more ghosts from this gentleman if I ever recover from all of the ghost orgasms I just had, A++++ thanks!» Canada Goose Online
cheap canada goose uk One thing hammered home over and over again on every WordPress blog, Tumblr post, survey, and eBay listing I visited is that ghosts simply might not be that into you. This is usually framed as being entirely your fault. Either you didn’t believe hard enough or you were afraid (which is a real turn off for ghosts, apparently). cheap canada goose uk
You would think spirit sex might be a good answer for lonely people who want to find a partner or in my case just someone to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race with me and brush my hair. But in reality, it can turn out to be another plane of reality for you to be a loser in. I tried to summon a succubus using the letter method. This method instructs you to focus on what you want in a succubus, then write a letter with a list of what you’re looking for. This is mine:
I did misspell the word «enemies,» but I have a learning disability and figure my succubus should know that about me, so I left it in. You then add a little something from your body to the paper, whether it’s blood, semen, or hair (hair is less potent). I used hair. After lighting a candle (I used a Bubbly Pomegranate from Yankee Candle to give my summoning that classic Christmas y feel), you focus your intention and burn the letter in a bowl. Eventually, you’re supposed to feel pressure on your chest, wind on your skin, soft touches, and mild to strong sexual arousal. I guess in my case, I would interpret that to the ghost being super horny for friendship.
canada goose clearance sale Unfortunately, I felt none of these things. When my letter burned away, all I was left with was slightly less hair and the words «Give piggyback rides my ememies.» I have to say that this felt pretty intentional, like somewhere a succubus was laughing at me. Then again, I did say that I wanted her to be funny, so who knows! Maybe it worked! Hahaha, just kidding. Ghosts hate me, it’s fine canada goose clearance sale.
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